Adaptiv

Resilience In Recession - It's Still Tough Out There!

Starting last summer, in response to lots of requests from subscribers, we published a series of Resilience In Recession E-tips in Adaptiv's Enews. And we got lots of positive responses.

Now almost halfway through 2010, we thought we might be out of the woods. But in workshops, coaching sessions and daily correspondence, our customers are still asking us for help staying resilient in the face of continuing tough economic times. This is especially true of people in transition - they're reminding us that there's nothing quite as draining to our resilience reserves as living without a paycheck and facing a challenging job market.

So, in response to these requests, we decided to re-publish these E-tips here on the Adaptiv Blog. You should be able to scroll down, starting from this post, and read them in the order they were written.

As always, we love to hear from you, so please share your comments. If the response is positive, we'll continue with this series. Enjoy!

Dean

Resilience In Recession Tip #1 - Start With The Basics

When you boil it down to its essence, Resilience is a lot like the Serenity Prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

When times are good and our resilience levels are high, most of us are pretty good at coming to peace with things that are out of our control, and at jumping on things that we can do something about. The problem is that often, especially during stressful and uncertain times, we’re not so good at figuring out what’s changeable and what’s not. We wind up beating our heads against problems that are largely out of our control – like the job market, or our company’s recent merger. And we walk away from problems that look unsolvable, when in fact they’re not. So, it’s the wisdom to know the difference that we need to focus on.

If you attended an Adaptiv Resilience Training workshop, you know that we spent hours teaching you skills to help you think more accurately about the challenges and opportunities you’re facing, in order to put your limited resources to the best possible use and get the best outcomes. For now, we just want to remind you to think carefully about whether or not you can really impact a given situation before you either dive into it or run the other way.

Here’s a quick story we received that helps to illustrate our point:

Dear Adaptiv, 

It can be overwhelming constantly hearing all of the news about the bad economy. It is easy to feel powerless. I combat those feelings by focusing on what I can control in my own life and with my own budget.  I accomplish this primarily by paying down credit card and other debt. Every time I get a little extra money, regardless of how small the amount, I pay a debt instead of spending the cash.  The amount paid down adds up, my debt decreases, I feel like I’ve accomplished something and I feel back in control. A side benefit is that the news feels less stressful to me.

This person chose to take control over just one aspect of his life – credit card debt – but the resilience benefits went well beyond his financial situation.

If you have a story about how living the Serenity Prayer has helped you boost your resilience, we’d love to hear about it! Just comment here.

Resilience In Recession #2 - It's All About Your Thinking!

In the first Adaptiv E-tip, you learned that resilience is the ability to live the Serenity Prayer. But we also reminded you that this isn’t always easy to do. So why do we have such a hard time figuring out what’s changeable by us and what’s not, especially when we’re facing a big adversity like the current recession? Well, it’s all about our thinking! Let’s review what you may have learned at your Adaptiv resilience class:

If you take a moment to tune into your thinking, it may at first “sound” like lots of noise. But if you listen carefully, you can start to unravel and make sense of it. As human beings, we’re constantly talking to ourselves –  “What time is it? I’m hungry. This project is taking longer than I’d planned. I wonder how the kids are doing at school? Why didn’t my boss say Good Morning to me? What if I’m part of the next downsizing?” – and so on. Years of psychological research have proven that what we think has a direct impact on our emotions (what we feel) and on our behavior (what we do).

As an example, just imagine that you’re a member of a team working on a critical project. At the weekly meeting, your team leader announces that the project deadline has been moved up by a month and that you will need to work weekends to make the new date.

There are often as many reactions to a situation like this as there are team members. Here are some of the most common things that people might think and feel:

 “I just don’t have what it takes to keep up.” – Sad

“How am I going to explain this to my wife and kids?” – Anxious

“There just aren’t enough hours in the day.” – Frustrated

“The boss just continues to abuse us.” – Angry

“I guess I should have been working harder.” – Guilty

“The team’s going to see that I’m not pulling my weight.” – Embarrassed

“This is no surprise; it is what it is; we’ll get through this.” – Okay

Each of us tends to respond consistently to difficult situations like this. That is, when dealing with adversity of any kind, we each tend to experience one of these emotions more than any of the others. 

Right now, the key is to identify which of the above best describes what you would think and feel. In the next Adaptiv E-tip you’ll learn about your Emotion Radar -  the Thinking Style that leads you to that particular Emotion. You’ll also learn how your Emotion Radar can sap your resilience in recession, and what you can do about it.

If you have a quick story about how your thinking may have led you to non-resilient emotion and behavior, and what you did about it, just post a comment. We’d love to hear from you!

Resilience In Recession Tip #3 - Discover Your "Emotion Radar"

In Adaptiv Resilience in Recession E-tip #2, we suggested that it’s what we think that determines what we feel and do in response to a challenging situation. We showed you a list of the most common “negative” emotions and the kind of thinking that causes them. Then, we asked you to tune into your thinking and your emotions to see if you could name your Pet Emotion - the one emotion that you feel more than any of the others – the one emotion that derails you, especially in tough times. Were you able to identify it? If you were, that’s great! It’s your first step toward greater resilience.

 Here’s what we heard from two E-tips subscribers about their experiences with this exercise: 

Dear Adaptiv,

Yesterday, my boss called and asked me to prepare a financial report for her weekly staff meeting, which was starting in less than an hour. Before I could respond, she said she had to pick up another call and ended her call with me. I was right in the middle of another project. I started to feel angry. I was thinking how she didn’t respect me and how unfair it was that I was being pulled off a task to help her. Just then, she walked up to my desk and apologized for jumping off the phone – her boss had been on the line and she needed to take the call. She told me how much she trusted my financial knowledge and  how much she appreciated my efforts. She thanked me for going the extra mile. I felt my anger disappear. She asked me to help her because she respected me, but I jumped to the opposite conclusion. I realized that this was a familiar pattern – I often think that other people are stepping on my toes or not showing me respect, and it makes me angry. In this case, I was totally wrong.

(From David P.) 

Dear Adaptiv,

Your example [in E-tips #2] about project due dates moving up actually happened to me last week. I was already totally stressed because we have had two big layoffs already this year, and about a quarter of my team is already gone. So it was easy for me to spot my pet emotion – Anxiety! The first thing I thought about was how this work schedule would affect everything from my exercise program to my kids’ weekend plans. I worried about whether my husband would be able to pick up the slack. I always seem to be worried about what’s going to happen next.

(From Rhonda C.)

Thanks to David and Rhonda for sharing their stories. They each did a great job of identifying their Pet Emotions (his is Anger and hers is Anxiety) and the kinds of thinking that lead to those emotions. From an early age, each of us develops habits of thinking about ourselves, our worlds, and our futures. At Adaptiv, we call these Thinking Styles, and we humans have a number of them. We refer to the particular Thinking Style that leads us to our Pet Emotion as our Emotion Radar. This is because each of us learns to scan our worlds in a very specific way that winds up leading us to a specific emotion. For instance, people who feel Anger more than other emotions are scanning the world for how their rights are being violated. In David’s case, his “Violation of Rights” radar led him to falsely believe that his boss was disrespecting him, and in that moment he felt angry. People like Rhonda who experience more Anxiety than anything else tend to scan the world for future threat, i.e., what’s coming down the track to get them next. Her “Future Threat” radar caused her to start thinking thoughts about all the bad things that this one work situation might lead to, and she felt Anxious. While there’s no doubt that working weekends will cause some personal hardships, the chances are that her Emotion Radar caused her to overblow the probabilities of bad things happening, and to worry more than she needed to.

Feeling negative emotions based on faulty thinking causes us to feel badly for no good reason. And in the process, we burn up valuable resilience resources. This has a negative impact on how we feel and how we do during recession or any other difficult time.

To help you zero in on your Emotion Radar, here is a list of non-resilient emotions, and the Emotion Radar that leads to each: 

Emotion    Emotion Radar

Sadness    Loss – Of self worth or real world

Anxiety     Future threat

Frustration     Lack of resources

Anger    Violation of your rights

Guilt Violation of another’s rights

Embarrassment     Loss of standing with others

Shame       Violation of your own standards

Once you have a feel for the one – or maybe two – emotions that most get in your way, the trick is to stop and ask yourself if your thinking in the moment is in accord with what’s really going on. If it’s not, then chances are that your Emotion Radar is causing you to jump to a wrong conclusion. With a little practice, you’ll begin to “sniff out” your radar and quickly become skeptical of your thinking in that moment. Often, just stopping to question the accuracy of your thoughts will help you rein in your emotions and stay more task focused. And this will make you more resilient!

Please feel free to get in touch and let us know how getting a handle on your Emotion Radar is helping you feel better and do better during this recession – at work, at home, or anywhere in between.

Resilience In Recession Tip #4 - Wisdom Shared By One Of Our Readers

This week we’re taking a break from our review of the fundamental skills of resilience to share an interesting note that we received last week from an E-tips reader:

Dear Adaptiv,

 I was laid off from my director-level job in March. Trying to locate a new job, even at a level below my last position, was impossible. No matter how much I networked, I couldn’t line up a single interview. I’m a pretty resilient, optimistic person, but in mid-September, I hit the wall. I felt down and discouraged and was having a hard time just getting out of bed in the morning. A friend who had been downsized a few months earlier than me called it “search fatigue”, and I think he was right. I sat back and reviewed all the new contacts and relationships I had developed over the past few months. I realized that even if none of these connections resulted in a new job, the network I had built would be of value for the rest of my life. So I picked myself up, picked up the phone and got back into the game.

 At the beginning of October, I got a call from one of my contacts that his company had just lost their Director of Leadership Development and that he had recommended me to fill the position. To make a long story short, I am the new Director of Leadership Training & Development at a mid-sized specialty manufacturing company. The position has more potential than the one I lost, with about the same salary and benefits, and a shorter commute.

 When I went through Adaptiv executive coaching a couple of years ago, the lowest score on my resilience profile was Reaching Out. My coach stressed the importance of actively seeking new opportunities and relationships, and this job search experience has driven that point home for me. Reaching out has never come naturally to me, and I can’t say that all the networking I had to do land this position was easy, but it has really paid off.

 This reader’s story reminded us of findings from our interviews earlier this year with a number of people thriving in the midst of these harsh economic realities. We’ve found that these people share 4 characteristics:

§ Avoiding the Negative – The simple act of turning off the TV has helped many of us stay resilient. At any time there is usually more good news than bad news in the world, but bad news sells better and both network and cable broadcasters are established masters of the negative.

§ Maintaining Optimism – Our research shows that optimism is crucial to resilience, but only within the bounds of reality. However, if you’ve done everything reasonably possible to solve the problems facing you, you’re almost always better off erring on the side of optimism.

§ Reaching Out – It’s natural during tough times to shrink back into our cocoons, and this stubborn recession has caused many of us to do just that. But our work has shown again and again that pushing against this tendency is critical to our resilience in recession.

§ Forging Connections – The most engaged people are those that have found deeper meaning in their work and in their lives at large. Finding ways to truly make a difference has a profound impact on our resilience and job/life satisfaction. 

The individuals that we interviewed represented a diverse slice of the population, with a wide variety of backgrounds, jobs and life experiences. But in spite of their differences, each and every one of them shared these 4 characteristics. Do you have a story of your own resilience in recession in which you tapped into one or more of these 4 “resilience-in-recession” strengths? If so, we’d love to hear from you.

In the next E-tips, we’ll take a quick look at Iceberg Beliefs – those deeper-seated beliefs that can really sap our resilience. And we’ll show you a few Icebergs that people experience particularly during tough economic times, and how to avoid them.

Resilience In Recession Tip #5 - Navigating Around Your Icebergs

Let’s take a quick look at Iceberg Beliefs and how they affect our resilience as we continue to work our way through this persistent recession. Icebergs are big beliefs about ourselves, our worlds and our futures. They’re often rules about how we should be, how others should treat us, or how the world should operate. Psychologists call them “belief systems” or “schema”, but we think the term “Icebergs” is more descriptive. Like real icebergs, the bulk of an Iceberg Belief lies below the surface of our awareness. Icebergs are tougher to detect than our surface “tickertape” beliefs. And like real icebergs, when we crash into an Iceberg Belief, the results can be disastrous. If you’ve ever experienced an emotional blow-up – big sadness, anxiety, anger, frustration, embarrassment, guilt or shame – that just seems way out of proportion, you’ve probably hit an Iceberg.

 You may not even be aware that you've crashed into an Iceberg, but if you’ve ever had a big emotional outburst and came away shaking your head wondering where it came from, the chances are good that what caused the blow-up was an activated Iceberg Belief.

Iceberg Beliefs come in three popular “flavors” – Achievement, Social and Control. Here are some of the more common Icebergs in each of these domains (Icebergs in red are especially troublesome during recession). Most people can see themselves in at least one Iceberg in each category – see if you can identify yours:

 Achievement Icebergs

• “Winning isn’t everything – it’s the only thing.”
• “Failure is a sign of weakness.”
• “I must never give up.”
• “I should get everything right.”
• “If it’s not done perfectly it’s a failure.”

 Social Icebergs

• “It’s my job to make sure people are happy.”
• “Avoid conflict at all costs.”
• “I should always be there for the people I love.”
• “Sacrificing for others is the right thing to do.”
• “You just can’t trust people.”

 Control Icebergs

• “I must always be in charge.”
• “I must never show my feelings.”
• “I can’t handle uncertainty.”
•  “If you want it done right, do it yourself.”
•  “People should play by the rules.”

Icebergs like these can have an enormous impact on how we feel and what we do in response to any situation. Suppose you were expecting a promotion following an excellent performance review, but your boss informs you that due to poor company results last quarter all promotions are on hold indefinitely. While it would be natural to feel down, or frustrated, or maybe even a bit angry, if you had an Iceberg something like “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing,” you would more likely feel extremely down, massively frustrated, or ballistically angry when you heard this news. You might say something to your boss that you would later regret. You might even do something that would spoil your chances for promotion – a self-fulfilling prophecy going in the wrong direction!

 We learn these Iceberg Beliefs at an early age, usually from parents and other significant adults in our lives, and over time they become set in stone. Most Icebergs are double-edged swords. They have both upsides and downsides. They can both help us and they can rob us of resilience. The key is to get off “autopilot” and get our Iceberg Beliefs under conscious control.

For more details on how to identify and handle your Iceberg Beliefs, see “The Resilience Factor,” Chapter 6. Or give us a call at Adaptiv – we’re happy to hear from you!

And if you have a story of how you were able to boost your resilience by identifying and dealing with an Iceberg Belief, please email us. We’d love to hear about it.

Baby Boomers and Resilience - A special case?

Over the past year or so, we’ve noticed an interesting, yet disturbing, trend in both our training and coaching practices. It seems that Baby Boomers – those of us born some time between 1946 and 1965 – are falling off the resilience wagon in record numbers. Here are just a few examples of the many cases we’ve been hearing about:

• A coaching client who had enjoyed 35+ years of business and personal successes suffered a major blow to his resilience when his second entrepreneurial venture imploded due to the current financial crisis. When we first met him in an Adaptiv Resilience Training Workshop in 2005, his Resilience Factor Inventory (RFI) scores were among the highest we’d ever seen. But he retook the RFI at the start of his coaching engagement, and 5 of his 7 resilience factor scores had dropped. And what he told his coach was consistent with these lowered scores: “In the past, I would have faced this situation down and figured out how to turn it around and succeed. But this time, I just haven’t been able to do it. For the first time in my life, I’m questioning my abilities. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined that I would be in such a tough spot at this point in my life. Instead of kicking back and giving back, it feels like I’m having to start all over again from scratch!”

• At a recent resilience training workshop, an executive of a pharmaceutical company spoke about her struggle with caring for her sick and aging parents – a mother with advanced Alzheimer’s, and a father recovering from cancer surgery. Unlike at most times in the past, her job was taking a back seat to her family crisis. A proven and resilient leader at work, she admitted that trying to balance the ongoing work demands against the seemingly endless parental caregiving was taking its toll – both physically and emotionally. She had come to our resilience training workshop to find some relief.

• After a speech I gave at a professional association meeting, an attendee approached me and told me his story. He was a senior sales manager in the medical device industry, where he had spent more than 30 years of his career. Although his team was consistently ranked in the top performance quartile, a rash of negative events – including a key product recall and a staff reduction that decimated his support organization – had resulted in the worst quarterly sales results he’d ever had. Now he was worried about his own future at the company, and wondering how marketable he’d be as a fifty-something year old sales manager. I’ll never forget his parting words: “There was a time in my life when I felt like I could handle anything that the world threw at me. I’ve always been a fighter, and most of the time I’ve been a winner. But now I feel like a toothless tiger!”

These stories are merely examples of the hundreds of cases we seen where traditionally highly performing professionals faced challenges they had never before experienced, and their resilience and performance were suffering. Regardless of the underlying reasons – whether physical, emotional, behavioral, financial, or some combination of these – Baby Boomers are struggling in unprecedented numbers.

 

We believe this population presents a truly unique set of resilience characteristics that requires a special set of resilience skills. That’s why we’re building a workshop especially for them, drawing on our own research and experience. But we can surely use your input as well. Let me know what you think. If you have a story about yourself, or about a baby boomer friend or associate that is struggling with their resilience, please share it here. We’ll hold everything in the strictest of confidence.

 

I’ll continue writing about this topic here and will freely share our findings with you.