In the first Adaptiv E-tip, you learned that resilience is the ability to live the Serenity Prayer. But we also reminded you that this isn’t always easy to do. So why do we have such a hard time figuring out what’s changeable by us and what’s not, especially when we’re facing a big adversity like the current recession? Well, it’s all about our thinking! Let’s review what you may have learned at your Adaptiv resilience class:
If you take a moment to tune into your thinking, it may at first “sound” like lots of noise. But if you listen carefully, you can start to unravel and make sense of it. As human beings, we’re constantly talking to ourselves – “What time is it? I’m hungry. This project is taking longer than I’d planned. I wonder how the kids are doing at school? Why didn’t my boss say Good Morning to me? What if I’m part of the next downsizing?” – and so on. Years of psychological research have proven that what we think has a direct impact on our emotions (what we feel) and on our behavior (what we do).
As an example, just imagine that you’re a member of a team working on a critical project. At the weekly meeting, your team leader announces that the project deadline has been moved up by a month and that you will need to work weekends to make the new date.
There are often as many reactions to a situation like this as there are team members. Here are some of the most common things that people might think and feel:
“How am I going to explain this to my wife and kids?” – Anxious
“There just aren’t enough hours in the day.” – Frustrated
“The boss just continues to abuse us.” – Angry
“I guess I should have been working harder.” – Guilty
“The team’s going to see that I’m not pulling my weight.” – Embarrassed
“This is no surprise; it is what it is; we’ll get through this.” – Okay
Each of us tends to respond consistently to difficult situations like this. That is, when dealing with adversity of any kind, we each tend to experience one of these emotions more than any of the others.
Right now, the key is to identify which of the above best describes what you would think and feel. In the next Adaptiv E-tip you’ll learn about your Emotion Radar - the Thinking Style that leads you to that particular Emotion. You’ll also learn how your Emotion Radar can sap your resilience in recession, and what you can do about it.
If you have a quick story about how your thinking may have led you to non-resilient emotion and behavior, and what you did about it, just post a comment. We’d love to hear from you!